Like black nylon pigtails, the dangling
straps make you look impossibly girlish and cute as they flap sweetly
in the breeze. Which is possibly quite nice, unless you are a
weighty weightlifter or a beardy barrister.
BONUS TIP: For further high scores from the
judges, here's a high-degree of difficulty trick: Hit your head on
the pavement in a way that when your frontal cortex pops out of the
crack in your skull, you can get it to land in your upturned helmet
on the other side of the road.