Tip 155: Ride with your helmet unclipped.

Like black nylon pigtails, the dangling straps make you look impossibly girlish and cute as they flap sweetly in the breeze. Which is possibly quite nice, unless you are a weighty weightlifter or a beardy barrister.

BONUS TIP: For further high scores from the judges, here's a high-degree of difficulty trick: Hit your head on the pavement in a way that when your frontal cortex pops out of the crack in your skull, you can get it to land in your upturned helmet on the other side of the road.