It must in theory be possible to change a tire or lube a chain without getting black shit from your fingertips up to your armpits.
Once that sticky combination of oil, dirt and atomised rubber particles is on you it aims to colonise. It relishes that fact you're on way to meet your new boss, the apparently hot babe from the dating website, and / or your spouse's extended family.
Like an Alien species in a George Lucas movie, it's going to take a major climatic battle with a ton of lasers to claim territory back.
No matter how much of Palmolive's finest you splurt on, no matter how tightly your scrubbing technique is modelled on Doogie Howser MD, John "JD" Dorian or Dr Doug Ross, it will still be there the next day.
Movember, mismatched mutton chops, and a gangster tear-drop tattoo.