Too prudish for the licentious actions of the hand pump?
Get your tyre food down at the service station.
Be careful though.
Like the buffet at Sizzler, it's hard to know when to stop and you could easily pop, spraying all the other diners with dubious lasagne and high-fat soft-serve.
BONUS TIP: With the passing of peak oil will come the passing of peak smugness, as cyclists stop cheering the demise of Shell, Exxon-Mobil, et al, and wearily face a future with a lot of hand-pumping.