Friday, 23 December 2011

Tip 148: Fall off while swinging your bike side to side

When you get out of the saddle, you move the bike left and right to put more oomph into those pedals.
It feels like a performance enchancing drug.
Like any drug, your body builds up a tolerance, however, and in your thirst to dominate the uphills, you keep dialling up the dose.
Until one day, in your drug-addled desire to beat a 1974 Volkswagen Beetle up a medium sized incline, you throw those handebars left and right so hard the bike no longer has contact with the ground.
Now you're on the Roulette wheel.
If the ball lands on Black you fall out - towards the kerb.
If the ball lands on Red you fall in - towards the danger zone of this pre-ABS car's approaching front bumper.

BONUS TIP: As it turns out, sprawling in the road in front of a 1970s car going uphill is no more dangerous than sunning yourself in your backyard.
You can stand up, dust yourself off, retrieve your bike and signal to the driver, well before they have a chance to turn that Charles Manson glint in their eye into bone crushing, blood-spurting reality.

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