Sunday, 4 December 2011

Tip 133: Suffer from considerate driving.

Imagine a road like this : a bike lane, one lane of car traffic in each direction, clogged with slow moving cars.
As you roll past the many cranky commuters that blame everyone else for their morning logjam, a minor side street approaches.
Unbeknownst to you, the snake of snarling traffic contains one kind soul, who, with beatific smile, leaves a small gap at the mouth of the cross street, and waves through a driver from the oncoming lane who has been stuck there, indicator on, perhaps since last Tuesday.
The turner, scarcely believing this apparition of kindliness, applies all the force of their fatty legs to the accelerator pedal and swings through the gap, across the bike lane where you are trundling along.
Rather than simply hitting your brakes, the correct approach is to ask yourself what would happen if you were starring in a John Woo directed action blockbuster.
  • If the car is a low coupe or convertible: bunny-hop over it. 
  • If it is a Jeep or truck with plenty of clearance: slide under. 
  • If it is driven by your arch-nemesis: grab the wing mirror, punch out the passenger window, duck a few bullets, wrest control of the steering wheel and kick him/her out the driver's door. 
BONUS TIP: Return to the scene of the incident, and in the interests of road safety, give the generous car driver the middle finger. That ought to change their mood to sullen, which will make their behavior much more predictable.

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