Tip 79: Veer into a parked car

Cycling affords a tremendous way to see your city and it would be a shame not to stop and smell the roses.
If you peer off into the distance long enough, however, you will cease to hold your line.  Perfectly stationary objects will jump out at you, and you will find the end of your handlebar has become irredeemably tangled with a parked car.

BONUS TIP: Hold your head high, as though mortifying embarrassment is as preposterous a concept as Scientology, put the car's wing mirror back in place and ride on.

Tip 12: Mount your bell and lights on the bottom of your handlebars

Global overpopulation is the inevitable endgame of this species, Homo Sapiens Sapiens.  A species so wise it invented redundancy.  Real estate grows scarcer, and it seems ever less likely the innovation-bots at a thousand Googles could save us from the impending Malthusian crush. 
You can help.  There's real estate out there just waiting to be claimed.  Take your bell, your light and your trip computer, and flip 'em.
Magic.  All that space you never knew you had, right there on the most crowded part of your bike.  Sprawl all over that newly exposed bar tape like a new suburb consuming subdivided farmland. Luxuriate a liitle.
You can even try out new hand positions.  Narrow accentuates the cleavage, while the off-symmetrical tweaks those neck muscles ruined playing too much angry birds. 

BONUS TIP: Plant your hands extra wide and feel the rushing air dry your armpits before you arrive in the office.