Tip 146: Get attacked by a duck

One minute you're coasting along the riverside path, thinking about last night's Chinese dinner, and the next - Quaaaark! - you're under duck attack.
Beaks are going where beaks aren't welcome and feathers are flying as you battle to avoid both squirting duck dirt and falling in the river, while a phalanx of cute little yellow ducklings look on darkly from side of path.

BONUS TIP: Shouldn't have had all those little roast duck pancakes with the cucumber and that tasty brown sauce.  They know.

Tip 145: Check your reflection

The urban environment is full of shiny surfaces most riders pass unaware of. But the narcissist can be seen circling the city, going out of their way to pass surfaces that show their best angles.
But the mirror is cruel more often than kind.
In those surfaces the narcissist sees a rider whose back is too curved, whose handlebars too high and whose helmet looks disconcertingly like a madman's tinfoil hat.
It is crucial not to be seen considering one's self. If other cyclists are around, resist even the most fleeting glance at the shiny surface. Focus ahead like a gun dog, rather than waggling your head side to side like a laughing clown.

 BONUS TIP: If the cyclist in the mirror runs into the back of a car, it will have a look on its face a bit like the one above. And like a clown, the guy in the mirror will be crying overwrought tears while every one else is laughing.